


fit to a t

by thunderylee



Category: AKB48, Johnny's Jr., KAT-TUN (Band), Kansai Johnny's Jr., Kis-My-Ft2 (Band), SixTONES (Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, Gen, and then there were four, creeper kame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-11
Updated: 2013-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-16 02:22:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12333552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: Five times KAT-TUN tried to add a new member and one time they didn’t need to.





	fit to a t

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck.

The fortieth time Taguchi runs through the intro rap to Real Face, he makes it about two lines in before tripping over the words and huffing in frustration. Ueda rolls his eyes, Nakamaru facepalms, and Kame forces a smile so big that Nakamaru suspects that’s not just tea in his bottle.

“I think…” Nakamaru says slowly, flinching as the other three turn to him with desperate eyes. “…we should look into getting another member.”

He expects backlash, but the other three just nod slowly and Nakamaru lets out a breath of relief. “Someone who can rap,” Taguchi adds.

“And sing,” speaks up Ueda.

“And dance.” Kame pauses. “KAT-TUN-style dancing.”

Everyone knows what that means, but no one voices it. It’s no worse than what the juniors do these days, honestly. Nakamaru feels like an old man when he watches Shounen Club and shakes his head at that Jinguji and his crew moving in ways they have no business doing for another couple of years at _least_.

“I’ll make some calls,” Kame goes on, and Nakamaru feels even more relieved at not having to approach anyone himself. Kame has the pull in the group, anyway. What’s left of them.

That night Nakamaru scrolls through all the Ts in his contact list until his vision goes blurry. None of them are really a good fit, not to mention just about everyone whose number Nakamaru has are already in their own groups. It will be interesting to see who’s added to their group, but regardless of who it is, it can’t be any worse than it would be without them.

_Famous last words_ , a familiar voice sounds in the back of Nakamaru’s head.

> 1\. jailbait

When Nakamaru gets to work the next day, there’s someone already in their practice room. Nakamaru is instantly hit with a pang of recognition, though it’s not the stranger personally. He looks like someone familiar, Nakamaru realizes. Just much younger.

“Good morning, senpai!” the kid chirps, and Nakamaru realizes it really is a kid when his voice is higher than most. “My name is Takahashi Fuu. Please take care of me.”

“Good morning, Takahashi-kun,” Kame greets him, looking a little bewildered. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m your T!” Fuu replies brightly, then flails his arms a little. “I mean, the second one. The…smaller one.”

Taguchi eyes the potential new member and Fuu cowers a little, looking much younger than his height would lead one to believe. “How old are you?”

“Fifteen,” Fuu replies, and all four of them snap their heads toward him.

“Eighteen?” Kame asks pointedly.

“No, fif— ” Fuu starts, then seems to catch on. “Eighteen, yeah, I’m eighteen.”

“Kame,” Ueda says carefully, and Nakamaru notices the way Kame’s face lights up. “Kame, step back.”

“Can you even rap?” Taguchi asks skeptically, and Nakamaru thinks he should talk.

Fuu answers by launching right into the rap that all four of them have been struggling with for two weeks, nailing it perfectly in his own style that’s just a little higher pitched. Taguchi has the decency to look indifferent, but Ueda seems impressed and Nakamaru knows his own eyes are wide. Kame’s completely enamored, but Nakamaru is trying not to pay attention to that.

“Sing,” Ueda demands, and Fuu instantly belts out the upper harmony to I Like It that Nakamaru has issues hitting in _falsetto_.

“But can you _dance_ ,” Kame challenges, stepping forward until Ueda grabs the back of his collar. “None of those fresh junior moves either.”

Nakamaru gives Kame a concerned look, but Fuu just pulls out his phone and turns on something dubstep that shakes the table when he puts it down. Then he proceeds to do a full body roll followed by some pop-and-lock, right on beat despite the eccentric rhythm, and ends with hip roll that takes him down to the floor and makes it clear to Nakamaru who Fuu actually reminds him of.

“Excuse us for a minute,” Nakamaru tells Fuu after the impromptu audition, pulling the other three members into a huddle. “Don’t you think he resembles someone?”

“You know, I was thinking that, too,” Ueda hisses, staring conspicuously at Fuu who busies himself with his phone and pretends not to notice.

“He’s gorgeous,” Kame says dreamily, and Nakamaru narrows his eyes. “And did you see those hips?”

“ _Fifteen_ ,” Taguchi and Ueda both mutter.

“He’ll be legal in a few years,” Kame tells them casually.

“He looks like Jin!” Nakamaru exclaims, and Kame’s face falls. “Like a spitting image of him at fifteen. Tell me he doesn’t.”

“Are you sure it’s not really his kid?” Ueda asks seriously.

“He would have only been fourteen,” Taguchi points out.

“I remember Jin at fourteen,” Kame says slowly. “It’s possible.”

“At any rate, we can’t have him in the group,” Nakamaru declares. “It will stir up old drama. And _you_ need to stay away from him, Kazuya.”

“I’ll just break the news to him.” Kame smirks a little. “Give him a shoulder to cry on.”

“I’m not bailing you out of jail!” Nakamaru calls out to his retreating back.

> 2\. kansai flava

The next day their practice room is yet again not empty when they arrive, but this time Nakamaru recognizes the person sitting calmly (in his usual chair).

“But we already have an N,” Kame greets the newcomer, looking confused. “We need a T.”

“They’re just letters,” Nakayama Yuuma says with a shrug, idol smile on high. “I can share.”

“Share?” Nakamaru squawks out, and now he’s the one grabbed by his collar.

“Can you rap?” Taguchi asks, just like he had yesterday, and his skepticism is warranted when Yuuma launches into a very _different_ version of the Real Face intro. But he remembers the words and keeps up with the tempo well enough, which is better than any of them can do.

“You know,” Kame jumps in, “I’ve been thinking that we should change it up so that it doesn’t sound the same. I think what Yuuma-kun did to it is similar enough to still be Real Face, but with his own personality.”

“Personality,” Nakamaru repeats, feeling bitter. “He raps like Taguchi.”

“I know, it’s cool!” Taguchi exclaims, slinging an arm around Yuuma. “Maybe we can have a rap battle or something in a future song.”

“That would be fun!” Yuuma agrees, in Kansai-ben, and Nakamaru seethes more.

They run through a couple performances, Yuuma picking up the dance moves easily, but Nakamaru stops them halfway through Peaceful Days.

“No,” he says, quiet but strong, and four pairs of eyes turn to look at him. Yuuma’s are exceptionally huge, but Nakamaru determines that’s just what they look like and Yuuma isn’t really super shocked. “We are not adding him to the group.”

“Why not?” Taguchi asks, looking sad.

“Because I’m not sharing my N!” Nakamaru explodes, folding his arms and huffing like a child. “That’s _my_ N, has been my N for ten years, and _no one_ will be getting any piece of it. I don’t care how much personality he has.”

He catches Ueda hiding a smile, but Nakamaru ignores him. Taguchi actually steps back from Yuuma and gives him an apologetic look.

“Sorry, man,” Kame says to Yuuma, leaving Nakamaru a little bewildered at how they’re not standing up to him. “Thanks for trying.”

Yuuma grins. “It’s cool. I’ll take a rain check on that rap battle, though, Guch.”

Nakamaru blinks at the nickname, but Taguchi just nods and shakes on it. It looks complicated and Nakamaru wonders if it’s some special Osakan deal-making ritual that Taguchi had learned from Ohkura.

> 3\. double stuff

Thankfully there is nobody in KAT-TUN’s practice room the next day, though Nakamaru’s barely made a dent in his coffee when the door flings open and someone very tall trips unceremoniously into the room.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” Kame jumps up, rushing to kneel next to their visitor because he knows him the best. “Tama-chan, answer me.”

“I’m fine, damn,” Tamamori Yuuta grumbles, brushing Kame off of him and looking embarrassed as he stands up. “Um, I’m here.”

“We see that,” Ueda replies pointedly. “ _Why_ are you here?”

Tamamori glances at all of them in turn, looking a little like a skittish cat who’s in danger of darting away at the first sign of an attack. “I’m a T?”

There’s a pause as the other four process this. “But you already have a group,” Kame says gently, like he thinks Tamamori will not handle this news well. “A very successful one, at that.”

“Yeah,” Tamamori replies slowly, then sighs. “But I’m _bored_. Gaya and Mitsu are doing dramas and the other four have their weird single thing. I have nothing to do!”

“You just finished a Dream Boys run,” Kame says incredulously, because he would know better than anyone how rough that is. “You should be enjoying your free time.”

Tamamori shrugs. “Anyway, I’m a T. So here I am.”

Nakamaru exchanges a glance with Ueda, who shrugs, and Kame actually lights up like this could be the one. Taguchi, predictably, eyes Tamamori and asks, “But can you _rap_?”

“I can rap,” Tamamori scoffs, like he’s insulted that anyone would think he couldn’t.

“Let’s hear it,” Ueda says.

Tamamori has his own style of rapping, too, but it’s much less Taguchi-like and Nakamaru finds himself growing hopeful as well. Tamamori fumbles over some of the words, but it’s nothing that can’t be ironed out and they actually continue the song for the entire first verse and chorus, Tamamori’s voice blending in naturally with the melody.

“Wow,” Kame says when they finish. “This could actually work out.”

“Told you,” Tamamori mutters, looking rather pleased with himself.

He’s a little bratty, Nakamaru thinks, but lucky for him that role is open. “So I guess we should practice a dance routine?”

They all know that Tamamori can already dance, but syncing up with KAT-TUN proves to be a disaster. Not because the moves are complicated, but because Tamamori keeps losing his balance.

“How do you even skate?” Ueda asks after Tamamori crashes to the ground for the fifth time. “You can barely stand on your own feet.”

“I grew a lot!” Tamamori replies defensively. “My equilibrium is all messed up.”

“You’ve been that height for like four years,” Kame tells him, frowning like he has no sympathy for anyone taller than him. “Shouldn’t you be used to it by now?”

“Our routines are often difficult and very demanding,” Nakamaru says gently. “I’m really concerned that you might hurt yourself if you try to perform with us, and then both of our groups will be down a T.”

Tamamori opens his mouth like he wants to retort, but then his hand slips when he tries to push himself up and he looks helplessly up at the others from where he now lay on his back. “Ah, you’re probably right.”

“Go relax and enjoy your break,” Kame tells him, reaching out to help him up. “You’ll be busy again before you know it.”

“Good luck finding a T,” Tamamori says on the way out. “We’re a rare breed.”

“True that,” Taguchi agrees, sending him off with a bro fist.

> 4\. girl rock

The fourth attempt at KAT-TUN’s new member has to be conducted at an affiliated dance studio since she’s not allowed inside the jimusho (yet).

“But you’re a girl,” Kame states the obvious.

Takahashi Minami shrugs, pulling her ballcap further down in the back. “And?”

“And you’re a _girl_ ,” Ueda reiterates.

“I know that,” she snaps back, using very masculine Japanese that has Nakamaru’s eyebrows rising. “Ikemen Desu Ne was popular, right? Our agency presidents think that it might be popular in real life, too.”

“That is a horrible, horrible idea,” Kame says. “ _Horrible_.”

“At least give me a chance.” Minami pouts, which looks out of place in her homeboy getup. Nakamaru has to admit that she dresses down quite well, only the faint bumps on her chest (that he is definitely not looking at) a giveaway to her true identity.

“Yeah, give her a chance,” Taguchi says, sauntering toward her with a predatory grin on his face. Nakamaru recognizes this expression and just shakes his head, standing as far away as possible without actually leaving the room. “You can rap, Minami-chan, right?”

Minami nods and jumps into the intro rap to Real Face just like the others had done. Her rapping voice is quite low for a girl, and while she’s a bit shaky on the rhythm she keeps moving her upper body with each syllable she spouts out fiercely.

“She has potential,” Kame admits.

“The T is very nice,” Taguchi says, eyes gleaming like he’s thinking something filthy, and Ueda must catch onto it because he digs his elbow into Taguchi’s arm. “Ow! Fine, I won’t say it.”

“T and A, right?” Minami guesses, and Taguchi looks guilty. “I get it, it’s funny. That can be my thing if you want. I mean, I do have it, and you need it—the letters, I mean.”

“Oh, you’re my favorite,” Taguchi practically purrs, sliding closer until he’s halted by her fist in his arm. “Damn, girl, you can pack a punch.”

“By the way, I only like lady parts,” Minami announces, “so I won’t be fucking any of you.”

This is the best news Nakamaru has heard all month, except now he has images in his mind that he doesn’t really want and he’s not sure they’ll go away anytime soon. “Minami-chan, I’m not sure this is going to work out.”

“What?” Minami calls over. “I can’t hear you all the way over there.”

“Nakamaru is scared of girls,” Ueda volunteers.

“I’m not scared of girls!” Nakamaru yells, because he has to speak up to be heard. “We just can’t have one in our group!”

Taguchi looks disappointed, but he just sighs and pats Minami (carefully) on the shoulder. “You make a convincing dude, though. It’s almost unattractive.”

“Yeah, but I’m not really into it that much.” Minami tugs off her ballcap and lets her hair fall down. “I guess it wasn’t meant to be.”

“Ah, lipstick lesbian,” Taguchi declares with an understanding nod, and Ueda steps in to keep Minami from hitting Taguchi again.

> 5\. i-team

Nakamaru stares blankly along with his three permanent bandmates. “What the hell?”

“iKAT-TUN,” Ikuta Toma pitches hopefully. “Like the phone?”

“ _No_ ,” Nakamaru snaps, and no one argues with him.

> +1: foursquare

“I swear on everything, if Jinguji is in there, I’m moving to Alaska,” Nakamaru threatens as he approaches the door to KAT-TUN’s practice room on the sixth day.

“How would we even pronounce that?” Kame asks, wrinkling his nose as he presumably tries to figure out where to put the J.

There’s a junior in the room waiting for them, but it’s not Jinguji. It’s a T, a very familiar one, and Nakamaru is amazed that Johnny would have even considered this given the situation.

“Relax, I’m not here to be your T,” Tanaka Juri says, throwing up both hands in surrender. “I’m here to help you.”

“What, are you going to teach us how to rap?” Kame asks, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

Juri stands to his full height, which is just a little taller than Kame. “It’s really only Real Face, right?”

He gets four blank stares.

“Countdown,” Juri clarifies. “You do Real Face every year at Countdown, and I’m old enough to work after midnight now, so I can join you. Just for that song.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” Nakamaru inputs, and everyone looks at him. “Real Face is our debut song. It should be sung by KAT-TUN, however it’s made up.”

Kame nods like he agrees, but he’s also looking at Nakamaru much like Ueda had the other day when he’d blown up at Yuuma. It makes him uneasy, so he addresses Juri instead.

“The raps in the other songs can either be omitted or modified, or we just don’t perform those songs,” he says. “But Real Face has to be authentic because Real Face is KAT-TUN.”

“It’s so _fast_ , though,” Taguchi whines.

“Can I hear what you’ve got?” Juri asks, cowering when Kame glares at him for intervening. “Maybe I can help?”

“It wouldn’t hurt,” Nakamaru says gently, and Kame’s face relaxes. “Let’s all do it together, okay? If you mess up, just keep going until the end.”

The others nod and they go for it. Nakamaru notices it’s not too bad when they all rap at the same time. Taguchi stays on beat when he’s not the only one doing it, and Kame doesn’t fumble over the words as much. Ueda’s more singing than rapping, but it’s better than Nakamaru’s big mess of an attempt.

“Kamenashi-senpai, you don’t have to force your voice down so much,” Juri says after it’s over, standing back in case any of them decide to lash out at him for his advice. “Maybe Ueda-senpai should try just speaking rather than singing? Taguchi-senpai flows well enough, just practice getting up to speed. There’s plenty of time before Countdown. And Nakamaru-senpai…well, you’ll be beatboxing anyway, right?”

Kame, Ueda, and Taguchi all turn to Nakamaru, looking like they’re ready to rip into Juri on Nakamaru’s word, but all Nakamaru does is nod at the youngest person in the room. “Right. Let’s try it again with Juri-kun’s suggestions, only one at a time. Taguchi, take the first stanza, then Kazuya, then Tatsuya, and Taguchi and I will do the last part together so Ueda can start the song.”

Taguchi starts immediately, much more comfortable and confident with the shorter section, but Nakamaru stops them right before Kame would continue. “We should say ‘we are KAT-TUN’ here instead, don’t you think?” he suggests

“Yes, definitely,” Ueda jumps to agree, and Kame and Taguchi nod as well. “Taguchi, do it again.”

Amazingly they make it through the entire thing, all four stanzas, and the smiles floating around the room emulate how happy Nakamaru feels. It’s not close to the original version by any means, but it encompasses all of the new four-member KAT-TUN and Nakamaru thinks that’s even better. “We did it!” he exclaims.

“We should do it exactly like that in the performances from now on,” Kame determines, turning toward Juri with a surprised and moderately apologetic smile. “Thank you, Juri-kun!”

“It was nothing,” Juri replies sheepishly, and nobody points out that it was technically Nakamaru’s idea to split up the parts. “But hey, if I end up backing for you guys on tour or whatever, I can always jump in and rap on the older songs. I don’t mind at all.”

“You’re a good kid,” Ueda tells him, and Nakamaru feels the weight of his words.

“I’ve had good influence,” Juri says smugly.

“Does that influence know you’re here?” Taguchi asks carefully, not missing the implication (for once).

Juri scoffs. “He doesn’t know all of my business.”

> :bonus: _it’s a new world, just starting to shine_

The next day, when Nakamaru’s sitting on the couch flipping through a magazine because his days of reading textbooks are finally over, Ueda flops down next to him with an expectant grin.

“What?” he asks warily.

“I want you to think seriously about something,” Ueda says gently, like he’s about to break some really bad news to Nakamaru. “Don’t just say it’s impossible. Seriously think about it, okay? For me, for Taguchi, and for Kame.”

Nakamaru blinks. “What is it, Tatsuya?”

“I think you should be the group leader.”

Nakamaru opens his mouth to reply, then remembers the events of the past week and how he took charge for every single one. Ten years ago he couldn’t have led these hellions across the _street_ , maybe even five years ago, but now they’re all older and there aren’t as many of them. Nakamaru has always been the common denominator in the group, anyway—no matter how different they were, they all seemed to like him, even if they showed their affection by teasing him mercilessly.

“Shouldn’t it be Kazuya?” Nakamaru asks, holding back the warm tingles he feels at being so honored that Ueda of all people would nominate him first. “He’s really the face of KAT-TUN, isn’t he?”

“He’s also not good at motivating,” another voice jumps in, and Nakamaru’s neck swivels to find Kame standing in the doorway, arms folded and looking amused. “I can handle my own business well enough, but the last thing I want to do is worry about making the three of you to do anything.”

“Don’t look at me,” Taguchi speaks up from the armchair. “You would all leave the group if I was in charge.”

“That’s probably true,” Ueda agrees, and Taguchi grins at him. “And we all know I don’t have the patience to do it.”

“Why do we even need a leader?” Nakamaru asks, but even as he speaks he knows the answer. “We’ve never had one before.”

“Maybe that’s why…” Kame trails off, leaving the rest unsaid. “Besides, I’m the youngest. Shouldn’t you be spoiling me?”

Nakamaru snorts. “We’re not NEWS.”

“Thank god for that,” Ueda says with a grin

“Kazuya has to go to Johnny for everything still,” Nakamaru finds himself saying, his own eyes widening at what he’s agreeing to. “He has the pull.”

“That’s a deal,” Kame rushes to say, looking just as surprised as Nakamaru feels. “Leader?”

“Leader!” Taguchi exclaims, and Nakamaru finds himself with a lapful of both Ts and feels like he’s been glomped by an overgrown dog.

“We’re not Arashi either!” Nakamaru grumbles, his words muffled by Taguchi’s shoulder. All four of them are laughing by the time Nakamaru shoves Taguchi to the floor. “I guess I’ll see if Koyama is free to teach me what to do.”

“You don’t need to learn anything,” Kame tells him, and Nakamaru feels that rush of pride again. “You’ve always known how to handle us, after all.”

“KAT-TUN is completed with an N, right?” Taguchi adds. “We’d be open-ended without you to finalize us.”

“Please take care of us, Leader,” Ueda says, and Nakamaru frowns at how weird it sounds.

“Can’t you just use my name?” Nakamaru asks.

“Let’s celebrate with food!” Taguchi declares. “Leader’s treat, of course.”

Nakamaru narrows his eyes. “Hey, wait a minute!”

“Don’t let us down,” Kame says, smirking as they grab their jackets and head for the door. “We’re counting on you.”

Resigning himself to another ten years of guiding these brats (and depleting his bank account), Nakamaru sighs and gets to his feet, leading the way.


End file.
